Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Muslim Brothers & Marriage, ugghhh don't get me started

Is it me or are times getting harder for sisters?...wait I don't think it is me, b/c apparently many sisters are feeling this way, signs of the times or just a lack of pickings...Pickings you ask, well pickings=Eligible Muslim brothers who are able willing to step to the plate in seeking the hand of mentally mature women...With the recent engagement frenzy, I notice that the pickings are becoming really dense....A theory a few sisters and myself share...why is it that Muslim brothers go for the extremes when it comes to Muslim women (no offense to any sisters or bros who reads this)...wait you know what, I don't care if ppl get offended by this I am just stating how many sisters feel...Muslim brothers have this trend of going after the super "religious sista"=the sister who dresses simple (even the abaya wearing ones), who is active in the MSA community or a halaqa goer, the sister who doesn't really stand out but has that simplicity about her that makes her soooo appealing and then on the other side of the spectrum there is the sister who doesn't have the best reputation you know those forever 21 wearing sistas, these two types of sisters have no problems when it comes to the leftover brothers...but WAIT there is another type of sister, the one who speaks her mind, the one who takes pleasure in intellectual discourse, the sister who likes taking care of herself (but is some how always labeled high-maintenance, when did it become a sin to like looking good, that's beyond my understanding, but back to my point),these sisters are self-initiators and not afraid of change and trying something new, these sisters can school anyone on a given issue from Islam to history to current events....YET these sisters are some how left out in the cold...Why???...WHY would any brother in his right mind not want a sister who is a leader, a patron, a role-model for women and men alike....for GOD sake she will breed the future..wait that's if she ever gets married....You read all these blogs about how hard it is for brothers to get married but wake up call it's harder for sisters, who don't care about minuet things like family status, how many escrows you have in your back pocket, or what tribe/area/city/town or province you come from....These sisters simply want brothers who will respect and cherish them and appreciate their intellects as their equals...Aren't we as Muslim suppose to be the forefront of ethics and behavior yet countless Muslim brothers don't appreciate these sisters, sadly its non-Muslim men I have notice who do....Why do Muslim brothers feel that these sisters are as they say "way too much"....what the HELL does that mean, are we as Muslim women suppose to be subdue, flap our eyelashes, be simple, and say how high when asked to jump??? what happened to a sister being attractive when she can disagree or question something, don't brothers want brilliant children who can face life head one bc the site of it appears not so, when you look at the sisters that are on demand...ohh and what is up with Muslim brother who are in their late twenties early thirties, finally financially stable, at a steady pace in the deen(still moving on up) and yet not married??? What is up with that, what are they waiting for because everywhere I turn I see SubhanaAllah amazing sisters, yet these brothers are looking for as Sheikh Saddullah so graciously said, "Muslim brothers want Super-Models in abayas, who have Qu'ran so eloquently flowing out of their mouths." Umm hello wake the hell up and flip this scenario for a minute because last time I checked I don't see Tyson Beckford (for those who don't know he is a model) looking brothers, who are sheikhs around any where....what happened to growing together and attaining a certain level of deen together, what is this a pre packaged deal....wake up brothers that's not how it works...and plus I think we sisters are getting the sour end of the deal, last time I checked so many Muslim women are gorgeous within and outwardly, can't say the same for the other sex...When did getting married become so damn complicated, what happened to if two individuals are mutually attracted to one another, active, intellectual, and in the deen, getting married??? What is so hard about it...And why are so many Muslim brother bound to this whole, well I like her, well I am interested in her, well she seems great but I dunno...what do you mean you don't know??? If it feel right and you can see each other spending this life and the next together then why not just step to her....oh wait..I guess I forgot the whole thing about apparently Muslim brothers don't have guts anymore, I guess they are waiting for sister to step to them...oh and lets not forget the whole thing that my parents are going to freak out bc she is not from the same country as me...who the hell cares have we went back to the times of Jahaliya when races didn't mix, for some reason I thought Islam touched down on that whole issue but I guess I am wrong....anyways enough ranting for today, it was just some mumble jumble thoughts floating around in my head...I eagerly await all your thoughts on this whole issue....


Zahra Billoo said...

Thank you.

No really lady, thank you.

Sophia said...

I agree with Zahra.

Very well said. More power to you =D

Shameemah said...


Bean said...

amen to that!
forget all them haters.

Anonymous said...

Are you ladies ok getting maarried to people who are in their late 30s?
If they were married more than once and not that sophisticated as you are but they like the way you are.
Do you say yes to the above? Or you intellect comes in way respecting those brothers since you know of some models & intellectual that you awed..

Likely not, you have defined your boundary. Are you willing to sacrifice things on your end.

Md Sulaiman said...

asslamualaikum geng2 semua...
im sum1 frm outside who accidentally came upon this blog
interesting topic and infos..
maybe this link below can help all of us... ;) insyallah


Innocence in the Making

Innocence in the Making