Materialism, it's a word I despise, a word that brings a shiver down my spine, it's a word that has made me choose my line of work, yet it is a word that knows me so well, a word that laughs at me daily, a word that knows my secrets. Materialism has been hunting me for years, see materialism has become an ideology that has some how seeped into my actions and being. But materialism is making my heart week and heavy, materialism has been haunting me in my dreams, it has become my dirty secret I have hidden in my closet, drawers, car trunk, bathroom, and virtually my room. So today I have decided to write a message to materialism and let it know that it has hung over my head too long and I am rejecting its intensity and its control over my mind and actions. Materialism, your alter ego shopping has plagued me too long. You have made me fault time after time. See your sweet whispers have lead me to loose control. I I still remember the first time we were introduced when I was in college and like a faithful leech you have been with me since. Yes, you are my secret that I am willing to expose, I am no longer scarred, because materialism I don't want you in my life anymore.
I still remember to this day when I was 18 and I opened you up in the mail, you were beautiful, you were all mine, your name was unique to me,Visa . I did not realize the powers you had but then I realized every time I grasped you in my hand and swiped you I felt this orgasmic sensation taking over my body, you quickly became my addiction so I wanted more of you and soon 7 more of your friends over the years found me, I carried them closely in my LV wallet that you purchased for me and I would attentively place you in my Gucci bag you so kindly gifted me. Every time I walked into a store, every time I was paid, received a gift, a scholarship, or loan you would quickly reward me with so many gifts, shoes, jewelry, books, bags, wallets, sunglasses, makeup, scarves, travelling, entertainment, food, you were like an elixir to me. You even went up in your worth from $500 each to $10,000, you even opened up the doors to retail cards. You took away all my pain, my insecurities and took me somewhere else far away, you were like an acid trip I could have anything I wanted but then.... you started to turn on me, first you were maxed out but then you were rejuvenated with a higher limit but then you were declined and then you were no more but a letter in a mail with a 1800 number. What happened? you abandoned me with my w 70 necklaces, 60 pairs of earrings, 30 rings, hundreds of bracelets, 130 hijabs, 70 pairs of shoes, more than a hundred dresses, and so many jackets, slacks, and shirt, you even left me with the nicest designer sunglasses, purses, and wallets, and I can not forget the laptops, new phones annually, and new ipods every 9 months but your biggest gift to me was the DEBT. Where were you when I needed you to take away that pain, that pain of being alone, that pain of needing something new, that pain of fearing to face myself....But when I searched frantically everywhere you were no where to be found...
So my old love I must be honest with you and let you know, I've cheated on you and I am abandoning you, I found someone who would love me and not leave me and I found this person when I looked in the mirror, I realized you had put a spell on me but I love myself too much to abandon me. See materialism it has been rough and I will not lie I have lapsed but in 4 more months you will no longer exist to me because I cost more then you can afford. See my old love, I want a bright future and I want a future for my future family and I want a future when I am no longer on this earth, I don't want you following me like a shadow.
So I must let you be, I must bury you, I must let you know I love you no more, I must let you know and not lie to you, this is the end of our story.....
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