Thursday, June 18, 2009

Will I continue to wear my hijab (scarf) ???


It's somewhat of a beautiful day, it's a bit chilly because of the morning rains but bearable, there is something always refreshing after a night of rain, the sky is grey but the sun is fighting to shine threw, the air smells fresh and the sky continues to growl once in a while but overall it's pleasurable. I am sitting outside a cafe in Hollywood where there is a strong but sweet aroma of fresh espresso beans being roasted. With the gloomy weather I decided to wear a Bright teal and orange hijab and a multi color neck scarf. A lovely young couple from France just came up to me and asked me if I was Muslim and I cordially smiled and said yes, the lady continued on and told me that hijab suits me, I was a bit puzzled and then realized they were both Muslims (usually when Muslims ask me if I am Muslim it annoys me but not this time). They left me with a bright smile on my face. See for the past six-months I have been having this internal battle about whether I want to continue wearing my hijab, so I started experimenting, you know showing my neck and then gradually progressing to showing my bangs but it just dawned on me, what am I trying to accomplish? why not just take it off? I begun mumbling these question to myself over and over which suddenly drew the attention of folks around me I guess I looked like I was not all there but then this emotion overtook me and brought tears to my eyes, the thought of not wearing my hijab brought an ill sensation that overtook my whole body. Was I willing to discard my best friend for the past 15 years , the best friend who has seen it all with me, experienced it all with me, has seen my heart be broken, experienced my success, seen death and life with me, knows my most inner thoughts, desires, and fears. How could I do this to my hijab it has never questioned my faith, beliefs, or purpose once, rather it has always leaned itself as an inspiration and a motivation to me. My hijab has given me the utmost dignity, it has always protected me and has elevated me. My hijab has made me distinguish amongst others. My hijab has allowed me to break barrier lines in my carrier, my hijab has been with me as a fashion coordinator at BR, as a jewelry retailer at Nordstroms, a student, a recruiter for Teach For America, countless interns, a Program Director, a Political Campaign Manager, a Community Organizer, a Regional Political Organizer, but more importantly as a human, daughter, sister, and friend. My hijab has reminded me the beauty of this way of life God has endowed us with. My hijab accompanies me when I lay my head on the floor to converse with my Lord daily. My hijab has witnessed my sins but has never judged me but rather encouraged me to repent and grow as a human. My hijab forbids me to be subjected to ignorance rather it asserts my intellectual capacity. My hijab clearly lets men know I am not looking for games but something serious. My hijab has experienced being cursed out, flipped off and at times utter ignorance but it also has experienced the sweet words of being told how beautiful it is, it has experiences doors being held open, it has experienced smiles , winks, and slight head bows out of respect. See my hijab know it exuberates power, positivity, and humility. This hijab has reminded me of my origins and purpose when arrogance has seeped in. My hijab is a trend setter and a spiritual fashion statement. This hijab has inspired other hijabs to be worn in this movement. This hijab constantly reminds itself that is it not superior to hair but its equal. See my hijab is not an ordinary hijab it's a hijab with many names to reflect its worldliness some know it as a scarf, covering, hijab, khimar, dhupatha, aunce, shall, bufanda, sal, satek, halstørklæde, sjaal, bupanda, huivi, foulard, schal, syal, sciarpa, cachecol, and eşarp. This hijab has been with mankind since the first day breath was gasped, see this hijab will be buried with the last woman to exist. So this hijab is not something of the past, present, or future but it's absolute. See, my hijab knows it does not make me and I do not make it but we compliment one another. So I ask myself am I ready to turn my back on my best friend? And my answer is, how can one breath without a heart? how can one think without a brain? how can one walk without legs? how can one talk without a mouth? how can one see without eyes? how can one smell without a nose? how can one feel without hands? then how can I exist without my companion of this life?

8 comments:

Unknown said...

are you back in the US yet?

Rina said...

Beautiful Jameelah! Yes, I know that's redundant. Great post. I was just thinking about you recently when talking with a friend about hijabi fashion and brand names. I said it doesn't necessarily matter where your clothing comes from it's style and attitude. Jameelah could rock anything, even clothes from Kmart. Hope everything is going well in Dubai. <3 Rina

Unknown said...

This is one of the amazing blog beautifully written. Haven't read somethig as expressive as this.

Jamey Scott Breinberg said...

mashALLAH! i love it. very powerful words. i randomly clicked on your fb profile just now and noticed you had a blog listed, checked it out and found this gem.

-who?mah!

sada said...

期待你每一篇文章.................................................................

read quran said...

It cool article an your site is quite resource full to tack care and inshallah all the sisters will where hijab

Shake said...

You are breathtaking, sis! MashaAllah! girl, continue to do you. rock that hijab in the way u do and represent for us. inspire those of us who also find ourselves on the brinks of giving up or giving in every blue moon. pple are watching u. they may be on a busstop and see you walk by, or however it goes, they are watching and taking note, tht Hijab is a beautiful expression of modesty! Do u do Polyvore.com? Find me shekeymakey. Peace.

Quran with Tajweed said...

Remember every day in your salat that you have missed. If you forget a part of a verse, you will immediately run towards the Quran and correct your mistake and you will never make this mistake, and join to the wipe sites that are learned Quran for kids.

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Innocence in the Making

Innocence in the Making